I’ve made a new friend in the last few two weeks. He’s from India and has been working closely with me on a project. Let’s call my new friend Mr J for simplicity…

Mr J and I have been spending time travelling together with me as chauffeur and him as interesting alternative to Radio 4.

We hit it off pretty quickly and have had some fascinating conversations about work, life, culture, politics and whatever other subjects have come up.

But we had one conversation that has made an indelible mark on me.

I innocently asked whether you could tell which part of India a person comes from based on their surname, like you can for example with a Scottish or Irish name.

Mr J confirmed that, not only can you tell where they are from but you can tell how they are likely to look, think, act and behave.

I gave Mr J a couple of examples of Indian people I’ve met and, with uncanny precision, he was able to tell me about them without ever having met them.

Now, this made an impact purely for the knowledge and acuity of humans that Mr J holds. But when I thought about it for a while, the implications of what I’d learned began to really dawn on me.

If you’re born with a certain surname in India, many people will hold pre-conceptions of you and your ways of thinking and behaving before they even meet you.

Imagine that.

Imagine knowing that when you meet somebody for the first time, they already have a strong view of what are essentially your values and traits based on nothing more than your name.

It’s not that unusual though is it? We all have pre-conceptions about people before we meet them. We could base it on a telephone conversation with them, their CV, what our friends have told us, online research or our own views based on their name!

At least my Indian friend is basing his pre-conceptions on an element of evidence – most of us base our pre-conceptions on anecdotal information or even our own hallucinations of what might be true.

Every time you meet somebody to make an impact, they already have some form of opinion about you.

Time to re-think the old adage that first impressions count – your first impression might have happened before you actually met for the first time!

Thanks Mr J.