On Mondays, I play touch Rugby in the evening. I play with a bunch of lads (I call them lads despite the fact the oldest is over 60!) who don’t want the knocks and bangs that go with the territory of amateur rugby league and don’t have the time to commit to the expected levels of fitness, skill and socialising afterward.

Every Monday, whatever the weather, we turn up at a floodlit playing field. We tend to get anywhere from 5-a-side to 15-a-side with people turning up and joining the game as and when they arrive. I’m always there early to warm up, have a pass around and get a feel for the ball.

Last night was very cold - it was 2 degrees when I arrived and the pitch hadn’t thawed in places from the frost the night before. You could see the steam coming off every warm body on the field as they exercised. Trying to get sportsmen and women to focus in those conditions is difficult. Even those of us who have played since being kids make plenty of mistakes – poor passes, dropped balls, miss-timed runs, sloppy defence. I could go on.

I don’t usually take much interest in the 7 year old children football training on the pitch next to us. But last night, I couldn’t help but take an interest.

The coach of the young team made a huge impact on me when he bellowed…

“How many times have I told you not to all follow the ball at once!”

Less than 20 seconds later he shouted

“What are you doing? I told you less than 30 seconds ago..” (which to be fair he did) “…not to all follow the ball around.”

He sounded ridiculous.

He sounded ridiculous because children don’t really learn by being shouted at all of the time. But that wasn’t the only reason he sounded ridiculous.

He sounded ridiculous because the kids are 7 years of age and his expectations of them seemed very high. But that wasn’t the only reason he sounded ridiculous.

The reason he sounded ridiculous was because he was doing a great job of telling the kids what not to do, without actually telling them what he wanted.

If you want to make an impact AND get what you want, tell people what you expect of them.

If you want to make an impact and look ridiculous, shout at people and tell them what not to do.

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